Every day there's a [girl] in the mirror asking me, "What are you doing here?"

I have a great job. Really great. It's cool, interesting, meaningful, variable, and just plain ol' good. Especially on days like today: I love being part of the creative, inventive process. It's fun to go to a film shoot, work with people on a script I wrote, worry about lighting and staging, camera angles and framing, cuts and retakes, and just to work with good people and help others relax. I love it.

I love writing interesting things. I love writing things that can change the way people think about something -- in a good and honest way, of course. (I know the PR wrap.) I love figuring out how to couch things, frame them, and make them applicable to different audiences. I love the power of language.

I love art directing -- worrying about what kind of paper to use and what layout best communicates a message. Going to photo shoots to make sure we have have the perfect picture. Thinking about ways to pull out interesting words, phrases, and key messages visually.

I love being able to be part of, and even lead sometimes, teams that are working to make meaningful change. I like being part of the investigational process, coming up with and implementing solutions, planning for various needs.

It's all very interesting. I love seeing how these all interface to influence people and to communicate a message.

So... (you say) what is the point of this blog entry? Are you just bragging about how much you like your job? The funny thing is: I don't.

Why? I don't quite know. And that's why the girl in the mirror is asking me, "What are you doing here?" I am conflicted; sometimes I wonder if it's by nature. But really I think it's just that I know what I am at heart, but sometimes what you are at heart and how your life works out don't coincide. Hence, conflict. So, how does one sort this out? Lately I've been telling people that my job is great, but that -- since I started as an intern -- I'm not ever going to stop being an "intern" to some people mentally, unless I leave and come back. Even though I haven't been an intern for a long time, or even really done intern work. Does that sound reasonable? How do you sort out your life path? Suggestions? Does anyone really ever have it worked out?