From Gold's Gym

I just got a birthday wish email from Gold's Gym -- giving me a coupon for a day of couch-potato-sitting, snack-eating, nap-taking revelry. That's different from every other day ... how? Thanks for the gift, Gold's.

I'm back; but wishing I could get away.

You know what would be incredible? If in 2010, I got to go to my current top 10 list of new places to go. Sometimes I wish I was rich. It would be too much travel, since most these places are really far away -- and a trip to a far away place each month (or more often) would be really tiring. Even if I do have a secret desire to be a nomad.

I clearly stole all these pictures from the Internet, so thank you, Internet, for sharing all your pretty pictures. I know I should have credited people specifically. I'm sorry.

In no particular order:

The Great Barrier Reef, Australia

Kyoto, Japan (In March. Definitely. Cherry Blossoms all the way.)

Jerusalem, Israel

St. Petersburg, Russia (maybe as the final destination of a cruise through the fjords.)

Washington, DC

Antarctica (I clearly chose a picture that looks like heaven for all you people who think I'm crazy.)

Machu Pichu, Peru

The Taj Mahal (I should have just gone in March. But this gives me an excuse to go back to India!! Woot.)

The Grand Canyon

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Honorable mentions (there is not enough time in my life to go all these places!!):

Iguazu Falls, Brazil/Argentina

Patagonia, Chile

Giza/Cairo, Egypt

Edinburgh, Scotland

St. John, Carribean

New Orleans, Louisiana

Chicago, Illinois

Prague, Czech Republic

Nairobi/Mombasa, Kenya

So... many... more... SOMEONE STOP ME BEFORE I HURT MYSELF!

With love.

So, for the last little while, I've been waking up at like 3 in the morning. When I can't get back to sleep, I've discovered that it can be a good time to catch up on a few blogs!

While I was browsing (which is generally a skill in which I find myself lacking), I found this blog about my adorable niece, Annie. And so, reader, since it's the month of February, I'm going to introduce you to my family, and the reasons I love each one of them. I hope it's not too boring for you, but -- well -- you weren't getting anything from this blog for the last several months (years?) anyway.

This is Anne-Marie.

In some ways, she reminds me of how I imagine my younger self -- except more awesome. (Mostly just that she's kind of a little person with a little voice, kind of like I was. BUT she compensates by blowing everybody's mind with her intelligence, perspective, and determination. All. The. Time.)

I love Annie for having her photo face worked out at a young age.

I love Annie for her love of music and how good she is at creating it.

I love Annie for being strong enough to let people know what she wants when other people would be afraid or back down.

I love Annie for having things figured out when sometimes I don't. She inspires me. It's good to know there're people that are going to take the world by storm. Annie's one of them. She already has.

$90,000 per second.

That's what people pay to run an ad during the Super Bowl.

...

...

I think I have more to say about Super Bowl ads, but I can't right now. My mind is a little blown.

My favorite thing I've said this year.

"She threw me off with her generosity, just like everyone else in this stupid town."

(After several people gave me the right-of-way when it wasn't my turn -- causing me no end of confusion, the woman at the drive-thru window in an unnamed [at least to me, at that time] Utah town offered me complimentary tiny orange sherbets.)

PPE (Poetic Party Entertainment)

When I was in high school, my AP English teacher said many quotable things. But one, in particular, was that it was always good to have a poem or two under your belt for parties. Whip one of those out, and you'll be the belle of the ball -- with all around awed by your wit, grace, intelligence, and charm. So we were required to memorize this poem, which I still remember pretty well. (I didn't look it up, so you could go compare.)

Loveliest of Trees

by A.E. Housman

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now

Is hung with bloom along the bough,

And stands about the woodland ride

Wearing white for Eastertide.

Now of my threescore years and ten,

Twenty will not come again.

And take from seventy springs a score,

That only leaves me fifty more.

And since to look at things in bloom

Fifty springs are little room,

About the woodland I will go

To see the cherry hung with snow.

Were you in rapture? I know. I know. You should see me do it IN PERSON! (Actually, I'm certain I'll be too wimpy to recite it for you.)

Here is my other party entertainment option:

Could Have Been Worse

by Bill Dodds

My friends have not seen London;

They've never been to France.

But yesterday at recess,

They saw my underpants!

I kicked a ball, my skirt flew up,

And I know what they all saw.

The girls all stared and blushed and laughed,

The boys said, "Oo la la!"

I've thought a lot about it,

And this conclusion I have drawn:

I'm embarrassed that they saw them,

But I'm glad I had them on.

What's your vote on my party entertainment? Do YOU have a poem handy?

Freshening beads? I'm in.

Kind of wish I had one of these right now. Really, I get that it's wasteful and American consumer-ish, but I just really like brushing my teeth. So much better than gum.

A Halloween Fright

Do you know what's scary? Leaving your house with all your doors closed, and coming home to find your front door wide open!

Everything was still in my house -- computers, credit cards, unmentionables (which really aren't that unmentionable, let's be honest), everything. There was no one hiding in my closets or under the bed or in the bathtub. But it's enough to make sure you're awake.

I'm thinking somehow it was the wind. I'm hoping? Either way, I feel very lucky. But I also feel like I need to call my dad and fix the locks on my door. Dad?

Egg-head

So, lately I've been in the mood to make things with eggs. Bready things with eggs. Which means: German Pancakes, Yorkshire Pudding, and Dutch Babies.

I started with German Pancakes a few weeks ago. A BIT less fluffy than I would have liked, but still airy and light; definitely acceptable for a first run, baked in the completely wrong dish.

Second: Yorkshire Pudding, last Sunday. Yum, in theory. Hardly like a Yorkshire Pudding at all in reality. More like a dense muffin with a tiny divot rather than a pillowy container for gravy.

Last: Dutch Baby. The original love. The perfect Saturday breakfast food. I discovered it almost 10 years ago at a restaurant near Seattle, WA. My loyalty has been strong. I couldn't go out this morning, but that was ok, because I was thinking: This is going to be the winner. I'll never be happier than knowing how to make this.

The elements were thinking: HA! You get the flattest, thickest, egg-bread/pancake that you've ever seen. I'd show you a picture, but it's too humiliating. Thank goodness for homemade Strawberry Jam (ahem, syrup).

And good thing love means never having to say you're sorry (or so I hear), because otherwise I would owe my cooking an apology. In my case, practice doesn't seem to make perfect.

A recipe for making...

So, yesterday was one of those days. One of those days when you just feel like you're not sure why you're fighting battles in the corporate world. One of those days when all of the work you do just seems to be wasted. One of those days when the only thing you can do is go home, put on an apron and bake.

So, I got out all the fixins' for Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies, and realized: I have no chocolate chips. (And only one egg, which was technically enough. But they expired in JULY. I know that eggs last way longer than the date on the carton, but July just seemed a bit too long.) I was too tired to grab my purse, change out of pajama pants, or really be bothered with anything at all, so I grabbed my check card and keys, put on my black wool coat (which is what was readily accessible) and some shoes, and headed to the grocery store.

I quickly grabbed a dozen eggs and some chocolate chips and went to the cash register. The woman there asked what I was making and we chatted about Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies while she checked me out. She was so enthusiastic about her easy recipe, which I thought was nice, and I chuckled while I walked out.

But, do you know what will always make you feel stupid? A tall, slender, luxuriously coiffed woman in the most fabulous knee-length leather coat you've ever seen and stiletto heels. And that's exactly what I ran into on my way out. Her look of disdain over my ill-fitting flannel pajama pants made me acutely aware that my bag contained CHOCOLATE CHIPS, not some uber-healthy salad and a single red pepper.

As I slouched in shame to my car, I thought, "This is it. This is the beginning. In no time at all, I'll be a 40-year-old, suburban-Utah woman who doesn't know how to wear anything but track suits everywhere. And? I'll be ok with it!!!! WHERE IS MY LIFE GOING?"

But, two good things came of this experience:

1. I reconfirmed that wearing pajama pants to the grocery store (or out in public at all) is wrong. How did I get there? Do I really feel like I'm that much a part of my community and the grocery store is just like being with family? No. I am aware that this is something that can really only happen in suburban communities. Can you imagine some woman hopping on the tube in London in her pajamas to go get eggs? No. I was duly ashamed on my way out of the house, but even more appropriately ashamed on the way in. Don't worry, world, I won't insult you that way again. For a while.
2. As I recounted this story, I learned that everyone else knew what the animated checkout clerk knew. There is a really easy recipe that is supposedly delicious. (I didn't make them. I paid a high price to get those eggs, dag-nab-it, and I wasn't about to waste it.)

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 box spice cake mix

1 can pumpkin (small size)

1 bag chocolate chips

Mix and bake. (I'm assuming 350 for 15 minutes or so? Since everyone else knows this recipe, you tell me.)

Happy baking. But... if you run out of chocolate chips and need to go get some, for heaven's sake, put on some pants. Or, if you just can't muster the strength to change, come by my place to get them. The grocery store patrons will thank you.