I ALMOST DIED!

I almost died at work today. A 2 foot x 4 foot slab of 1/2 inch thick plywood smashed to the ground. RIGHT. NEXT. TO. ME.

At first, I was like Chicken Little and ran around yelling, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" And then I looked up to see the hole in the sky.

That's when I realized it was a slab of plywood. A slab of plywood that was right above my head.

Fortunately, for some unknown reason, it fell to the left as it was falling. Because, no joke, I was standing right under it. Basically, I'm lucky to be alive. Whether or not you're lucky that I'm alive is a whole 'nother matter.

In memoriam.

I used to have this planter in my front yard. But it was taken away. By a nameless Homeowners' Association. Seriously. I don't even know who to call about it. I didn't like it, but you can't just take my property! If they'd asked me, I would have happily said, "Sure. Take it away." Or planted some flowers. (I thought the jumped the gun a little, barely even gave me time to plant after the snow stopped falling. Don't most people plant Mother's Day weekend? Seriously.)

BUT.

They didn't take it before someone added this (please ignore the dead plants -- I mentioned it was still early in the year, right? -- and poor iPhone photo focus):

to the collection of lawn ornaments they added last year. Exhibits A and B.

Style for substance.

Watch this video. It's of a woman who wore the same dress every day for a year (but still manages to make it look totally different through accessories and pairing and such) to raise money for kids to go to school. Coolio.

As seen on a bathroom stall just outside Nephi, UT.

Sleep safe!

Sleep with a

SOLDIER

MARINE!

Mathematician

I got new glasses.

I must confess: the change felt more dramatic than it is. Especially when I looked at these pictures side-by-side. (I can't really say that I knew exactly what I looked like in my new glasses, since I was blind and relied completely on two adorable friends to tell me which of the 200 options looked best.)

No wonder no one at the office noticed my lunchtime eyewear change. Note to self: For a major statement, should have gone for the green glasses.

OLD

NEW

I'll consider it a modern update to an old classic. What do you guys think?

From Gold's Gym

I just got a birthday wish email from Gold's Gym -- giving me a coupon for a day of couch-potato-sitting, snack-eating, nap-taking revelry. That's different from every other day ... how? Thanks for the gift, Gold's.