Expecting

So, the other day, I wore this to work:

MC and I picked out as the cutest thing of all the million things in a Forever 21 store. Of course I had to wear a black sweater with it, and I wore pants with it, because I think that's the style. I don't have leggings, and I'm anti-leggings anyway. I can't wear jeans to work, but I don't have "skinny" jeans anyway. (As a side note, I noticed that the zippered leg jeans are back. I called that last year and people mocked me saying that "not everything from the 80's will come back." Well, they did.) So, I wore black pants that are relatively straight legged. I figured that was best.

What I didn't know is that this "shirt" is listed as a "dress" on the Forever 21 site. It's not that long, so I'm sure it's meant to be worn with something, but maybe that something is ONLY leggings. So the following scenario may be my fault:

I'm walking to meet with one of the VPs of Intermountain. His secretary comes out of his office just as I'm arriving and says: "Oh! I didn't know you... Are you... When are you... It's so great that..." In response to my semi-blank look, she looks to my left hand, notices that I don't have a ring and says, "Oh. Never mind. Sorry."

All I could do was kind of laugh inside, smile, and say, "It's ok. I'm not pregnant, but that's a great idea for when I am." Or something like that. I mean, I didn't follow the fashion guidelines exactly, and even if I had, it's not reasonable to expect her to be up on the latest fashion, which is, I must say, a little maternity-esque.

I've never really thought of myself as old enough to be having children, although obviously I am. So, not only am I not expecting a little bun in the oven, I wasn't expecting her comment. Mostly because I wasn't expecting that other people would think of me as old enough to have children, either. Nor was I expecting that -- the first time someone said that to me -- I'd find it so wholeheartedly amusing and not a bit offensive. So, I'm not sure what I'm expecting, but it sounds like I best start expecting something.

Sport Stacking, anyone?

So, when I was in Colorado, the kids were telling me about a new "sport" that they do in gym class called Cup Stacking. I think the official name now is "Sport Stacking." Anyway, basically what you do is stack cups in pyramids -- and take them down -- as quickly as you can. There are 12 cups and different patterns you are supposed to do it in. At least if you want to compete.

To encourage them and be supportive of their new endeavors at school, MC bought them a cup stacking set. I practiced by building 4 pyramids of 3 and taking them down. My best time? 5.92 seconds or something. "That's pretty fast," you may think. (Especially if you've tried it. And you probably haven't.) Well, check THIS out.

The crazy thing is: that's not on fast-forward. She's really that fast. I almost bought a speed stacking kit, just to practice. Because... I mean... wow.

Inspired by real events...

I thought that it might be requisite to explain "Ela Woman." She is, of course, most of the world's favorite heroine, but in case you are unfamiliar, I will enlighten you. Ela Woman (ee la woo m-uh n) was created circa 1990. I suppose she was inspired by my interactions with the world... (For more on this topic, come back to see an interview with the cartoonist.) There are a few trademarks of any "Ela Woman" comic that, if you know what you're looking for, serve as indication that you are viewing a genuine, original strip. In the words of the esteemed cartoonist, David Vincent:

• "Ela Woman always escaped death because her opponents accidentally killed themselves. They would be about to slice her up with knives, but would instead slice themselves up. Or they would be about to shoot her with guns (I believe that was the plot of Ela Woman vs. the Abraham Lincolns From Mars), but then they accidentally shot themselves in the head instead of her (doh!). "


• "Other Ela Woman hallmarks [must be] present -- for instance, stylistic simplicity yet inconsistency."

For this blog, I have convinced Dave to come out of retirement for another edition, as seen below. (This is also found in the header, but I thought a larger version here may be helpful.) The realm of his creativity knows no bounds, as he worked effortlessly to incorporate real life events in the comic strip. (Yes. I did sneeze mouthwash all over the bathroom, and it may very well be that the Old Western Movie Stars of Doom were lurking nearby -- in invisiblity cloaks, or in miniature form. Thank goodness I always escape somehow.)

A final thought from Dave about "Ela Woman vs. the Fiendish Old Western Movie Stars of Doom:" "What I like best about this version is how happy you are to be using your mouthwash."

Don't we all?

Rosie

Today, I held a tarantula. A "friendly Chilean Rose Hair tarantula." Pretty much it was freaky.

I was at the Butterfly Pavilion in Broomfield, CO. Everyone else could handle it. MC opted not to do it, since she had before. Jeff did just fine. All the kids did just fine. And I freaked out. They told me that I needed to calm down or else "Rosie" would bite me. (Apparently, tarantulas don't often bite unless they feel threatened.) Yeah. That helped me calm down.

Usually, an experience with Rosie involves her walking across two hands. But not for me. Too much risk I guess, since I am, evidently, a wimp. I had just one hand. I had a spider walking across my hand, and it was only about 4 seconds, but I think that was about 4 seconds too long. (I really did ok... ish.) Here's to confronting your fears. At least I got a sticker out of it. I wore it proudly around the Pavilion for the rest of the afternoon.

I tried to have Chloe take a picture of me, but it was too blurry, so I've included one of Jack instead. Happy as a clam. Cute as one, too.

And the butterflies were cool. Here's one called "Greater Mormon," but it's from Malaysia. Go figure.

Caffeine? Near Temple Square?

The remodel of downtown has left me with dwindling choices for lunch. To eat within about a block proximity from work, I can go to Martine on 100 South, and that's basically it. Now, I like Martine, but I don't want to eat there every day. There are a few other choices, but in general, the food is lacking.

And so today, I heard about a new choice, provided by the Church in my hour of need, called "Nauvoo Cafe." It's located on the main level of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building on the west side. It was not bad. But, the MOST interesting part is that they serve Coke with caffeine! That's a first for the restaurants that are part of the "Temple Square Hospitality Corporation." What's next? A singing, dancing mouse with his own amusement park? (Yes. I did steal that line from a Muppet movie.)